Blogging to let go of the past

I had an up and down day today after a week of almost self destructing. I gained a pound and now it is pre-monthly bill week.

This morning I rode 5 miles on a local trail. I'm starting to get used to my gears. There was only one really challenging part, and the rest was just a lot of fun. I'll have to calculate how many steps this ride would be.

I had a light lunch afterwards. For breakfast I had some eggs, and the only snack I've had is an all natural snack bar. Eating wise I have been stellar.

However, I decided to go clothes shopping to see if I could find some summer pants/shorts/skirts. I found that even the bigger size was a little tight. I went home without anything, and I flopped on my bed and got ready to break down and cry. Then, all of a sudden, a shift happened. A light bulb went off. I have a choice. It was my choices that got me into this (for the most part, not counting illness past), and it is my choices that can get me out of it.

I've been mostly blaming allergies for my low energy, but what if it is lack of exercise? It has been a while since I whole hog worked out.

I also was thinking how our thoughts are what turns into emotions. What if I decided not to think about it and instead ignore the underlying thoughts and take action instead?

So, I decided not to think, not cry, got up from my bed, and then I did 20 minutes on my Nordic Track which translated into 101 calories burned and a little over 2.5 miles.

I'm proud of myself for not breaking down and instead went for breaking a sweat.

Tomorrow I will weigh and measure myself and formulate some workout plan for the week. What if I choose to go whole hog for one week straight? What would happen? It would be a good experiment.

Lastly, I have been thinking about the last time I needed to lose 15 pounds. I was in the summer before my junior year in high school. I went low fat, counted calories, and worked out like a fiend. Later I wasn't needing to work as hard to maintain, but maintain I did for about 10 years. I got sick and didn't workout. I gained the weight back, plus, I got older (which can't be helped). When I was 16 I promised myself that I wouldn't gain the weight back, but I see that I have. It's over 20 years later and I've been hating myself for a promise that was ill made (literally) and very young and naive.

I'm working on choosing to forgive and just let it go. I kept this promise for a long time, but I didn't figure in all the road blocks that could have come my way. Maybe it would have been better to simply promise myself to be good to myself. This seems to be a little more realistic. Don't you think?

Time to hit the shower. Have a great weekend!

Fitnfun :O)